So you want to know a little bit more about me hey?
My name is Sam McGown. I’m 21 and I’m currently living on the Central Coast of Australia.
Why I have started this blog you ask? I know personally the struggles us woman have when it comes to body image issues and weight gain. There is so much information on the web these days, It’s hard to filter through all of the different content and it can be daunting especially when you don’t know where to start. I want to give you more personal, in-depth and relatable information that is backed up by medical professionals.
Why I have so much to share? When I was 15 years old I couldn’t understand why my friends were so skinny eating junk without gaining any weight. I ate the same kind of foods as they did and in no way was I as tiny as them. So what does a 15-year-old girl do with body image issues? She restricts herself and uses terms like ‘diet’ and ‘celery stick’ and in no way for me was it to ‘get healthy’ or ‘be active’. Hell! I just wanted to look as skinny and as ‘beautiful’ as my friends.
Teenagers can already feel like they have the world on their shoulders but to add bad eating habits? That mix just doesn’t work. Unfortunately I fell a little too far into the rabbit hole of my food obsession. I didn’t last at restricting myself, instead I went the other way. I was depressed and I hated my body so I ate to make myself feel better, even if it only lasted the whole block of Cadbury chocolate. I would then feel ashamed that I had eaten the whole block so what did I want to do? I wanted to feel better again so I ate and I ate. Looking back now I’m thankful I couldn’t purge after a binge. I would probably have a lot more health issues now.
As time went on life changed, I left school a little earlier than most. I started studying and working, so my bingeing wasn’t the most important thing going on in my life. In saying that I still didn’t learn to manage it and it did peak its ugly head a few times.
2 years later through keeping busy and productive traveling through Queensland I was still not eating well but less food than I should have been. I was definitely ‘skinny’ but unhealthy ‘skinny’ so because I was skinny… I was happy. Life then changed again at 19 I had been through a rough trot and found myself not eating and over exercising through tremendous amount of stress and anxiety but I found joy through being almost skin and bones. But what came around quickly, went quickly. I then found myself back at extreme bingeing again. I hit rock bottom. I remember once I was staying at a friend’s house after my lease had ended. I was so ashamed of my bingeing but was so obsessed and consumed within it, no amount of shame could make me stop. My friend had 2 tubs of ice-cream in her fridge, when she was at work I ate both 2L tubs within a couple of hours, I felt so embarrassed that I drove to the service station to replace the ice-cream but then I again ate a further tub. I was so consumed in it, It was effecting my work and relationships. It’s embarrassing to write this but I hope someone out there can relate.
A few weeks later, at the end of 2015 I found myself moving to the Central Coast to be closer to family. “Fresh start!” I thought and boy it was! I realised everything I was doing to be ‘skinny’ wasn’t working so I started going to the gym, buying inspiring health books, buying active wear and following inspirational fitness woman online… Let me stop there that’s when it clicked, the whole time I was looking at everything wrong even the word ‘skinny’ that I had consumed myself in for so long, I realised it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to be fit, healthy and inspiring like these woman online! It all changed. It wasn’t easy but I persisted and started learning about food and it became my new drug, I loved.. I love it! I turned my unhealthy obsession into a healthy one. I learned how to cook, I learned how to exercise, I learned how to love my body and not criticise it. The weight then began to fall of, people started saying how healthy I looked. I looked at food and immediately wanted to learn what health benefits it had and ways to eat it. Friends and strangers kept asking about how I did it.
2 years later I am sitting here typing this, binge free, I’m as healthy as I have ever been, fitter than I have ever been and more passionate about pursing my dream teaching woman of all shapes and sizes how to live a healthy and active lifestyle.
Thanks for reading,Talk soon